30+ Women Are Sharing the Worst Weaponized Incompetence They’ve Ever Seen From a Partner, & We’re Begging Men to Step Up and Do Better

Ah, computers. We need them, we rely on them, but very few of us understand them. And even if you do understand them, there’s always someone with an excuse for completing basic tasks “because it’s technology.”

This disgruntled employee clearly needed to vent about how his fellow workers run to him whenever they see an error message. You can understand his griping; those people seem to have forgotten that the message they saw is there for a reason. If only it was slightly clearer.

Storing leftovers is a necessary part of tomorrow’s lunch! And if you don’t store the leftovers, you don’t get lunch tomorrow. It was a tough situation for this man, who wanted his lunch tomorrow but also didn’t want to put the leftovers away. What to do, what to do?

His solution was to complain about not having leftovers, complain about Tupperware, and probably complain any time she asked him to help with the baby before she just gave up. Calling him a partner is a stretch.

The thing about weaponized incompetence is that a lot of people may not even realize they’re doing it. That doesn’t justify it, but it’s often a learned behavior that they need to be confronted about.

At least when most people use weaponized incompetence, they don’t straight up admit it! This guy had a lot of gall. No wonder the post clearly says “ex.” Who would want to stay with someone with an attitude like that?

There are two kinds of people — those who have their kitchens organized in a very specific way, down to exactly which cup goes where, and those who haphazardly store things wherever there’s space.

This is the type of thing that has an easy solution. Just talk to your partner! If you don’t know where something goes, either ask your partner (if they’re particular about it) or talk about rearranging things in an easier way for you to remember.

Contrary to popular belief, a lot of people don’t use any bleach when they wash their white clothes. They stick to just detergent, or sometimes they’ll throw some white vinegar or baking soda into the load. So, some people don’t know where bleach would even go.

If he just asked where the bleach goes, that’s not necessarily weaponized incompetence. But if he refused to ever do a load of whites even after having it explained to him, then there’s a problem there.

If there are any two places in the house that you absolutely need to clean regularly, it’s the kitchen and the bathroom. Think about how much activity goes on in those two places and how much they affect your health.

It’s hard to imagine choosing to be so incompetent that your bathroom starts malfunctioning because of the dirtiness, and then you don’t even take the initiative to fix the problem. This is another one where the term “ex” is understandable.

Clean surfaces are super important when it comes to allergies or preventing invaders like ants, especially in an area like the kitchen. Some people just don’t get that, though.

It’s horrible to have a partner who clearly communicates what would make them happy yet you still choose to pretend that understanding your partner is impossible. He must have been one of those kids growing up who thinks things just magically stay clean, when really his mom was following him around cleaning up his messes.

Let’s be honest — breaking down boxes is annoying. It’s one of those things that takes maybe 30 seconds to do, but the idea of ripping those flaps apart fills any normal person with dread.

That said, it’s something that has to be done in order to recycle boxes properly, and it’s not cool for the men in this person’s family to act like the task is too complicated to do. It’s not that they don’t know how, they’re just lazy.

There are a lot of people in the world struggling between juggling multiple jobs and maintaining a sense of cleanliness and sanity at home. So, it should seem only natural for those who have partners to be able to rely on them to help with little things — like making dinner.

Why is someone with five jobs responsible for knowing every ingredient available in the house when he has eyes, too? Her answer should have always been, “Why don’t you go look in the pantry?”

Folding laundry is one of those things that we all have to do, but (almost) all of us can’t stand actually doing it. It’s also a task that tends to fall on the women in the house, even though that isn’t fair.

Thought running a marathon or avoiding eating chocolate for a week was impossible? Those are nothing compared to how impossible it is for this man to fold a t-shirt. The poor fella must really struggle through life.

Grocery shopping can be really tedious. Sidestepping other peoples’ carts and fighting other shoppers for the final box of eggs isn’t fun — especially when you’re the member of the couple who does the grocery shop every time!

This man went for the lazy option by refusing to do any grocery shopping for his partner, leaving it all to her. To add insult to injury, he then skipped out on the relationship for a “younger model,” and then magically discovered how to do the grocery shopping after all. Talk about rich!

Spring cleaning is one of the most satisfying feelings in the world. Prepping your home for the summer season from top to bottom takes hard work, but it’s always worth the reward. Unless you’re this man’s partner, who doesn’t understand how cleaning works at all.

This guy somehow managed to survive six years of a relationship without having the slightest clue about A) where to find cleaning products in his own home, and B) how to squeeze the squeezer on the bottle. This level of deliberate ignorance is difficult to forgive.

Cutting bread is hardly the most difficult task in the world. Bread + tool + sawing motion = easy. However, this act of weaponized incompetence may just get some sympathy from us, but it requires some conditions to be met first.

The only way this man is getting away with not knowing how to cut bread is if he is a clumsy, left-handed, “can’t-be-left-alone-with-sharp-objects” kind of character. In this instance, and only this instance, is it acceptable for him to be an inexperienced bread cutter.

Relationships are an ongoing game of give and take, and it’s a lesson some people learn the hard way when their partner leaves them for their lack of independence or motivation. This woman left a man double her age for that exact reason.

He blamed her because he missed an appointment that she had made for him! Making a doctor’s appointment for your partner is an act of kindness, but having your partner turn on you for not waking him up in time is crossing a line. Goodbye, and good luck going it alone!

This title is often reserved for young children desperately convincing their parents for a pet hamster or dog, but in this case, it’s a fully grown woman who wanted her own private garden to take care of. Turns out, her partner had to do most of the work.

If you’re an adult and you’re serious about cultivating your own garden, you don’t have much of an excuse for your lack of responsibility. Sounds like she expects him to do the outdoors “man’s work.”

We’ve all heard of Pavlov and his dogs. From young children to family pets, training will have a massive impact on how a person or animal will learn and grow. Unfortunately, it’s the pet owners who sometimes need some training.

If you’re the one who begs for a pet, you should take an active role in caring for it, not pretend that you don’t know how to. It’s like watching a grown man throw a fit that’s fit for a toddler.

Living with a partner tells you more about them than you’d think, including whether they’re able to complete basic housework. And in this case, it seems these two had very different ideas of what a reasonable mess looks like (and what constitutes a good excuse!).

If you look a little closer, you’ll see a lot of red flags hidden among those dirty dishes. This young man somehow managed to blame his own refusal to do housework on his partner. Not only is it very unfair — it’s the lack of self-awareness that’s more worrying here.

Sometimes, a refusal to do something properly offers an opportunity to test some new hypotheses, and maybe even experiment a little. This man’s inner child made its way to the surface and carnage ensued.

He decided that a leaf blower was “basically a vacuum” and used it to blow a week’s worth of dust into the air and stick to the walls, furniture, and ceiling. After getting a strongly worded warning from his partner, he quickly reverted to traditional vacuuming, which is exactly what you should do when faced with weaponized incompetence.

Doing dishes is a daily task that needs no introduction to anyone who’s ever made dinner at home. Despite its repetitiousness, it’s important that it’s done properly. And so this man found a genius (to him) way to not do the dishes ever again.

The worst bit is definitely that he took pride in his own lack of work ethic or a job well done, while also celebrating putting more workload onto his partner. It definitely isn’t a story worth bragging about, but it also isn’t fair to hate the wife.

School is a major part of everyone’s life. We spend the first 18 or so years of them at these educational institutions, after all, and the years are (hopefully) filled with fun activities and visits from our parents to see how well we’re doing.

This means this dad has never been to a concert, a sports match, or even a parent-teacher meeting. How pathetic is that? What if there were an emergency at the school and he didn’t even know because he’s that oblivious?

There are a lot of items in our lives that are so ubiquitous that we just don’t pay attention to them. One of those is the fitted sheet. It’s just always there, making the bed nice and comfy when we need it to.

Could he not just… turn the sheet the right way if he put it on in the wrong direction? Although we feel his pain with the pillowcase; those things can be a pain in the butt if they’re tight-fitting.

For anyone who’s used to doing their own laundry on a regular basis, it’s always surprising how often people act like it’s the most difficult thing in the world to do, and how easily people ruin their own clothes.

Or in this case, ruin their partner’s clothes in a way that seems fairly intentional. It sounds a lot like this guy just really doesn’t like going to the laundromat, so he’s trying everything he can to make his partner take over, including ruining his partner’s clothes.

Have you ever heard of a low frustration tolerance? It’s basically the idea that some people really struggle to cope with situations that they deem negative or stressful, so they’ll give up or lash out in anger.

Assuming they had a typical coffee pot, you literally dump in coffee, dump in water, and press go. It’s that simple. His frustration tolerance must have been in the negatives. Did he need help dressing himself, too?

In case you’re unfamiliar with the term, a crèche is a childcare center for really young children. So like any place with lots of children, there’s a time of day when parents gather outside to collect their little ones and take them home.

This dad should be genuinely embarrassed that he doesn’t seem to even know how old his kid is! We sure hope that he was just making a joke, because if not, the poor mom is going to be responsible for everything that’s ever related to that kid’s schooling.

There’s one form of weaponized incompetence that just about every person on the planet has dealt with at one point or another — someone throwing their clothes on the ground next to the laundry bin.

Is there a psychological reason that people do this? Is it a satisfaction thing at watching others clean up your mess? Are they marking their territory like dogs do? The world may never know, but man it’s annoying!

As parents get older and start needing more and more help, it’s common for one of their children to live with them and take care of them. What isn’t quite as common is their children mooching off of them while others do the dirty work.

That’s the case for this person’s brother-in-law, though, and it’s embarrassing. “He just can’t do it” is exactly what he wants them all to think as he enjoys spending her pension and doing absolutely nothing.

Traveling for work is really exhausting. Most work trips aren’t very long, so you go through the whole process of packing, getting to the airport, dealing with the airport, and then working, only to do the whole thing to go back home a couple of days later.

Asking your exhausted partner to go to the store when you probably had plenty of time to do so is a great example of weaponized incompetence, especially as it sounds like this happened more than once.

Weaponized incompetence is a struggle, because sometimes it happens due to a sort of learned helplessness growing up with parents doing everything for you. Other times, it’s more malicious — like this person who straight-up admitted to it.

This is the weaponized incompetence that’s truly harmful, as you’re going out of your way to make life harder for your partner. No one is surprised that they are now divorced, as no one deserves to be treated like that.

Someone cooking a meal for you is one of the best feelings in the world. Eating is a basic need, after all, and knowing that someone took the time to fill your belly with something tasty should always be appreciated.

This dad didn’t appreciate it, he took it for granted, so much so that he really thought it was okay to guilt trip his wife whenever she was away. She should have refused to cook for him when she got back.

Making dinner for your partner is a simple kindness that shows how much you care about them, especially if they’re coming home later than you — tired, hungry, and in need of some TLC. That didn’t quite happen with this guy.

Talk about selfishness! More likely, he just couldn’t be bothered to make enough food for the two of them and made up a poor excuse as to why his hardworking girlfriend got left with nothing to have for dinner.

Rugs are awesome, especially on cold tile floors. They keep us from sliding around and slipping and they also keep our feet warm. But since they get so much footfall, it’s important to wash them regularly.

It’s also important to lay them down properly so that they stay nice and flat, because otherwise, they’re a serious tripping hazard. Expecting someone to lay a rug down like a normal person is a normal request, and this husband knew it.

Imagine this — you’re cooking dinner with your husband, having a nice time, and looking forward to eating some burgers and a fresh salad. You step away to make said salad, only to come back to a horrible surprise.

Your husband has let your dinner burn, because he’s petty and childish and wanted to make you feel bad. Was it worth it, Bob? If he got some salad thrown in his face, no one would be surprised.

People with physical disabilities learn very quickly how to adapt to their limitations, finding creative ways to do basic tasks that the rest of us take for granted, like changing a baby’s diaper.

The problem is, changing diapers is a basic responsibility of having a child and should in no way fall on only one parent, especially a parent that only has one hand to hold down kicking legs and fasten clasps. This man was insanely selfish.

Those who have lived their whole lives with a microwave don’t realize how good they have it. Cooking and reheating has always been so easy for them, as opposed to having to do everything with the stove and the oven.

It’s really weird that someone would pretend not to know how to use a microwave in the first place. It’s not like putting something in and pressing start is labor intensive. Their roommate’s response couldn’t have been more perfect.

While these types of behaviors are clearly common enough that all these people have shared their stories, they’re even more common amongst older generations due to the stereotypes back then around what men and women were supposed to do.

This person’s grandpa clearly still believes that women belong in the kitchen, not men, to the point he’d intentionally cause his granddaughter more pain rather than get up for five minutes. Who knew kitchens were so hard to navigate?

When you go through boot camp, there are a lot of basic skills you have to learn. Your shoes must remain spotless, you must help clean the barracks, and you must learn how to make the perfect bed.

This poor person’s friend had clearly never watched any movies to know that, though, and got taken advantage of for years. That boyfriend better have been forced to make every single bed from then on out.

An issue with modern society is how men are praised for doing literally anything other than existing. They speak to their child? They’re a great dad! They fold a t-shirt? They’re a laundry genius!

This person’s ex-husband was clearly expecting that sort of praise for managing to vacuum their carpet a whopping one time in however long they’d lived there. Needless to say, wifey was not impressed, as it isn’t exactly a challenging task.

When you’re living with your partner, it’s awesome to have a bathroom with double sinks. It means you don’t have to fight over space to brush your teeth, do your makeup, shave, or whatever else you need to do.

It also means double the cleaning, which this guy refused to do. Their partner’s response was perfect — if you can’t contribute, then take care of your own mess. The fact they resisted cleaning the other side for months is true commitment.

You’ve got to be careful with cleaning products when it comes to specific surfaces. Wood furniture, for example, is very sensitive — as are technology screens and some types of countertops. The wrong cleaner can cause a lot of damage.

The issue here is his reaction. No one should be upset about their partner stopping them from damaging the expensive TV. They should say, “Oops, you’re right, so sorry! I’ll pay more attention next time.” That’s weaponized incompetence at its finest.

Everyone has experienced being in the middle of cooking dinner only to discover that you’re missing a key ingredient. This couple needed a few potatoes and some butter for baked potatoes, so the boyfriend got sent to the store.

Haven’t you ever heard of potatoes-a-la-peanut butter? It’s the newest TikTok craze, and it’s… pretty disgusting. In reality, he just grabbed the first potatoes he found without thinking and bought peanut butter to make sure his girlfriend would never send him to the store ever again.

Refusing to even think about how to make a bed seems to be a common theme when it comes to weaponized incompetence. If it were up to some of these people, they’d probably just never change the sheets at all!

Imagine thinking that it’s okay to drag your wife — who has spent ours on the floor next to the toilet — to not only come show you how to push a button on a dryer, but also how to put a sheet on a bed.

The problem with only one member of the household always doing the shopping is that if that person isn’t there, everyone else somehow becomes completely helpless and incapable of making a decision.

Her dad has come to rely on mom so much that when she isn’t there, he just sees her as interchangeable with any woman — in this case, his daughter. She should throw a wig on her brother and get him to help dad instead.

It’s good to have a bedtime routine, both as a child and as an adult. Doing the same thing each night tells the body that it’s time for bed, and the ritual of it is calming.

The logical response here would be to say, “Hi honey. I would like you to help me learn our daughter’s bedtime routine so that I can do my share of putting her to bed and take some pressure off of you.”

Every house has a junk drawer. The junk drawer is full of mysteries, whether it’s 10 semi-used rolls of tape, receipts from two years ago, or the only two pairs of scissors in the house.

When you’ve lived somewhere long enough, you learn where things go. It seems as if he was only asking to get his wife to bring him the scissors instead of going to get them himself. Laziness at its finest.

Some people are shockingly bad at washing dishes. It’s unclear how, since the process is just to soap up the sponge, scrub the dish thoroughly, rinse, and repeat. Yet they just can’t figure out how to do it right (or that’s what they want you to think).

“I got so tired of rewashing everything that I just ended up doing it myself” is exactly what their ex wanted, so in their mind, they won the battle. They lost the war, though, since they’re now an ex!